08/03/2011

The story of Bernie told daily though editing this post on a daily basis stated 08/03/2011 so keep up with this post to see the world though the eyes of a schizophrenic as my story unfolds to reveal the true horrors by those who see the the world differently due to mental disability s

The Story Of Bernie Owen



My story and dreams fade with each passing day,the end of my story may never come about or every be written again.Never to be told as with each passing month a darkness comes over me not in the form of a higher being but though the reality that nobody cares,My strength over the last few months has began to fade rapidly and a decision made by myself has brought me to this point in my life we're my writing's have to be noted and told in the hope that on my passing is a lesson learnt.I fear that death will take me before my words have finished and my final breath is taken as the life force now begins to leave me.At times I can barely manage to gain the strength needed to carry me though each passing hour yet alone day.I find comfort though preying to our our divine lady the immaculate conception mother to all man/woman kind.Yet I often curse the our lord with a bitterness for the cross he has made me carry,Even now the tiers that so often fill my life stream down my cheeks as the pain not only from myself but from the very core of the earth and the planets itself run though me.

I sit now thinking of those early years when I first entered the mental health system a troubled young man who knew that for him life was never going to be an easy ride from a very young age,with the anger of a thousand worriers preparing to enter the battle field knowing that their lives may end at any given point buy the blow of a mighty sword that cracks open the fragile mind I would have visions of my mother Teresa and son Stephen who had both departed and left this realm,My mother would walk the corridors holding my son in her arms asking me to forgive her for her wrongs to me that she had done while in her human body.She suffered from the darker side to our illness that runs though the blood line of our family known to the world as the most frightening and horrific of all mental disability s going under the name of schizophrenia.

My mother would talk to me saying never let them Know Bernard of the visions you have the lord will enter you when the time for you to emerge from the darkness has come.Stay hear in hell knowing that you are loved and always will be,for you are the future of man.The day will come when you will understand.the reason for your being. It will not only be known to you,but the the world you live in,Live hear with Lucifer in the centre of his very kingdom for you are the unknown beast. Befriend the darker side of man knowing that all the while you are being watched over even in your darkest hour don't despair remember the light that will shine from you will illuminate the very heavens above.

2 comments:

lisaluvs lisa said...

I can totally understand this. The universe is flowing throo me most of the time. If u have sum demons then embrace them and use em 4 good and its possible because my soul brv james has got schitzophrenia and he practices this and is quite ok. Lvslis.x.

Anonymous said...

i have been completely ruined by anti-pyschotec drugs. they hold me down and inject them into me when i refuse to take their tablets which makes me shake and drawl and sleep 18 hours a day. that is no life not even for a beast. dr harris is a filthy pervert who should not be a doctor. his got a filthy mind asking dirty questions and whether i think of sex a lot he said and do you have erotic dreams he asked. dirty one track mind should not be near women.